Are You Ready For Super Sex ?
10
March
I was quoted in this article that appeared in Times Life! on 25th February, 2007 (reprinted here courtesy the Times News Network). I think it’s a very nice reflection on how better sex is becoming important to everyone in this age of over-achievement. But, as I said in the article, it’s finding the connection that is more important than technique or acrobatics.
2007 is being touted as the year of Super Sex as between-the-sheets activity gets hotter and steamier. Priya Pathiyan reports.
The Urban Dictionary defines Super Sex as “sex, but better”. Think frenetic mountain lion coupling. Think impossible asanas where you hang from the ceiling and tie yourself into knots while your partner spins in ecstasy. Think male and female ejaculations that hit the roof and multiple orgasms, that last several hours… or even days!
This is the era of Super Sex, And whether you’re an accountant or an acrobat, chances are, you’re trying some new moves in the bedroom, Or even the boardroom!
For apparently, Super Sex is not just about being harder or faster, but about getting truly creative about how, where, when, using what and with whom you’re copulating! Social psychiatrist Dr Harish Shetty notes, “Enhancing pleasure is a 21st century pursuit and that includes experiencing ecstasy in every cell of the body. Excellence is the goal and the chase to improve the sex act is cognitive.”
So its clear people are putting a lot of thought into the act. And here we thought it was about letting your brain take a backseat and allowing your body to do to do in the backseat! But no, the brain is the all-new sex accessory. In fact, there are even some people who are differentiating between ‘whole brain sex’ and all too common regular sex. They claim that when a person self-stimulates his or her anterior amygdala (that’s a part of the brain, Einstein!) through simple exercises during intercourse, turning on dormant frontal lobe neurocircuits, he or she begins to automatically and spontaneously experience extended and intensified orgasms.
So Super Sex is about turning on your frontal lobes rather than your partner? No, it’s about being able to bring in the part of the brain that lies dormant during the sexual act into play, so that you get the most intense pleasure. And while the frontal lobe theory is just one of the many such bizarre ones and hasn’t been medically proved, there are several other methods that people adopt to super-size their sexual endeavours.
Dr Petra Boynton, a UK-based author and sex and relationship psychologist, who has researched this phenomenon considerably, predicts that 2007 will be the year of Super Sex. She notes that books, television programmes and magazine articles, which are increasingly featuring subjects such as ‘how to have the best sex in the world/universe’, ‘how to get more sex’, and ‘how to be really fantastic in bed’, are spawning classes that teach ’super sex techniques’ and an obsession among people to become’ sex achievers’.
According to Dr Boynton, “This media coverage, although hugely popular, will also create more questions and anxieties in audiences who probably won’t find the information easy to act upon and will blame themselves when they don’t get the best sex ever or become the best lover in the world.”
But while Dr Boynton may urge us to exercise caution when believing all that the ads and articles portray, it’s true that most people are looking at the bedroom as the new sports arena where it’s imperative to be ‘faster, higher, stronger’ every night. They’re buying into the hype that turns a natural act of love-making into a three-ring circus. Like the way Tracey Cox, American author of other gems such as Quickies, Hotsex and The Best Sex You’ll Ever Have!, glorifies great sex in her book Supersex by saying, “There’s sex. There’s good sex. And there’s supersex. I’m talking the toe-curling, tummy-turning, sell-the-kids-for-more variety. Hang on to the headboard, because this is going to take you straight to the moan zone.” Right!
And then there are sexual aids like the Super Sex Sling, a complicated contraption with cuffs, straps and even a headrest, which claims to help with penetration and G-spot stimulation, ensuring you achieve - yes, what else - Super Sex! And as though that were not enough, those concerned about excess poundage are advised to go in for a bit of bondage in books like Kerry McCloskey’s The Ultimate Sex Diet: The Super Sex Diet That Works.
Apparently, sexercise has been replaced by Supersexercise, where it’s not enough to be acrobatic and aim for the big O, but to try and substitute food cravings with sexual excitement and indulge in oral satisfaction of a different sort all the time, any time!
While sex has clearly been on Indian minds since way before these developments (ask Vatsayana or the Khajuraho sculptors or the guys at the International Institute of Population Sciences in Mumbai!), it’s true that the Super Sex mania is affecting us just as much as our Western brethren.
Most often, the tabloid press that tantalises with tales of who did it to whom and how many times a night is the culprit. According to 30-year-old engineer Subhojit Dasgupta, “With the way the media projects ‘hot’ celebrity lovebugs, regular couples start to think that everyone else is having more and better sex than them and get caught in that comparison. Even in India, I now see couples who are into swinging because they want to experience something more, something different from what they see as run-of-the-mill sex. Dubious gels, perfumes, creams that claim to enhance sex are selling like never before. People must realise that Super Sex is not about more or better looking partners and mere physical prowess, but about finding the connection.”
In fact, Dasgupta, who is an acharya (teacher) of Tantra and Vedic Sciences, having studied the science under the masters at the Kashi Parishad and the Temples of Kamakhya, believes that Super Sex has its origin in tantra. “It fits in perfectly with the tantra philosophy that sex is about procreation but Super Sex is a different thing altogether. Tantra is about making every aspect of your life a celebration and using certain techniques to bring out the dormant energy. It’s about drinking a glass of juice like you’re having an orgasm doing it!
The original Kamasutra in Sanskrit, which I have read, is in fact a text of the tantra philosophy, not a DIY sex manual like it’s made out to be today. It talks of a very heightened level of sex, where the man raises his partner’s energy so that they both are not in animal consciousness, but are enjoying the pleasure at a different level.When the energy has been raised by the man, he arouses the woman and ‘worships’ the sensual divine that resides within her. The vagina delivers the experience to the soul and the soul experiences it. That connection is the essence of female ejaculation and without the connection, no woman will experience an orgasm. In tantric sex, for that one moment, he becomes an aspect of the creator and gives his partner the best, the whole universe!”
And so although Dasgupta has experienced the much-touted ‘enhanced’ orgasm that people talk about in awed whispers when discussing tantric sex, he cautions that if the more than eight million mudras and their permutations and combinations that can be used in Tantra meditation as well as sex are not properly utilised by a ‘realised’ individual, it can prove harmful.
And what about the eyebrow-raising things one reads about in the foreign mags? “Well, female ejaculation does occur, but not to the extent that people like to imagine. No one gushes like that ! Porn videos showing that are built on fantasy, and are a pure publicity gimmick to again generate that image of Super Sex. And yes, there’s also a dry orgasm, which can be activated without any need for a physical contact!”
Well, even if you don’t quite do it that heightened a plane, there’s no harm in just brushing up on your bedroom skills, is there? Like Dr Shetty opines, “There’s a growing need to be good in all aspects of one’s life. It’s great that sexual expression is gradually getting normalised. It’s a good sign that humans are looking to better the quality of their experience and regarding sex as something that can be enhanced.
As long as couples work from genuine info rather than sleaze, trying to achieve Super Sex is a healthy trend.”
© TIMES NEWS NETWORK
For more articles where I was cited, check out my personal page at SubhojitDasgupta.net
Authentic tantra is derived from the combination of tattva, the science of cosmic principles, and mantra or the sciences of mystic sound, and its various applications.